Saturday 29 June 2013

Husband Wife Jokes








What is the best example of ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity?
A Mosquito lands on your wife’s face,
& u get the rarest opportunity of your life..

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Husband: can u be the moon of my life?
Wife: Awww Yes sweetheart..!
.
.
.
.
.
Husband: Great! then….
Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!
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Position of a husband is just like a Split AC…
No matter how loud he is outdoor,
He is designed to remain silent indoor! 


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Kahte hain..
Shaadi ki gaantth to aasman mein hi bandh jati hai..
Insan to sirf petikot salwar bra ki
gaantthe kholne ke liye hi zamin par bheja jaata hai.


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Man: is there any medicine for long life?
Doctor: get married
man: will it help?
Doc: no, but it will avoid such thoughts


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Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye!
time ka pata hi nahi laga?


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Wife bathroom se naha ke nikli to Santa use ghur raha tha!
Wife romantic hokar:
Kuch karne ka irada hai kya?
Santa 2 thappad maar ke bola:
Mere garm pani se kyu nahayi!!


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Santa ke lips jale hue the
Banta: Kaise jale
Santa: Wife ko railway steation drop krne gaya tha.
Banta: To?
Santa: Khushi ke mare.
Train ke engine ko choom liya :*


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Apne suna hoga Maa-Baap ke karmo ka Fal Beto ko milta hai,
Lekin kabhi-kabhi Maa-Baap ke karmo ka Fal,
Unke DAMADON ko bhi Bhugatana padta hai!


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Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Santa: Biwi Se
Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi
Santa: Maa-Baap to agla jnm lete hi mil jyenge
biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!! :d


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Pati ke marne ke bad patni ne akhbaar mein add diya..
Antim sanskar mein jo bhi aaye uske liye dhanyavad.
from:
Kajal,
Age 26
Gora rang,
36 24 36,
Bachche nahi hai


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Husband to wife,
na kajre ki dhar,
na motiyo ki haar,
na koi kiya singar,
fir bi itni sundr ho..
Wife: Saaf-saaf bolo
make up ke liye paise nahi dunga.


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What is similarity between
SUN & WIFE..?
.
.
Very Simple..
Aap dono ki taraf ghoor kar nahi dekh sakte.


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Wife on Mobile: kaha ho aap?
Pati: Tumhe wo jwellry shop yaad hai jaha tumhe 1 diamond ka set bahut pasand aya tha,
par mere pas paise nahi they.
aur maine wada kiya tha 1 din dilwaunga.
Wife: Khush hote huye.. Ha ha mjhe sab yaad hai.
Pati: Ha to usi shop ke baju wali shop pe baal katwa raha hu.


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Pappu Papa se Bola:
Papa shadi ke liye kitne paise chukane padte hai?
Papa: Pata nahi.
main to abhi tak chuka raha hu.


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Teacher: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Student: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.


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Police: Sir ur wife had an accident,
plz come 2 identify body now.
Husband: Im busy now,
u take photo and tag me on FB
If its her, I will click Like.


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Wife: Ager main kho gayi to tum kya kroge?
Santa: Nirmal Baba ke pas jaunga
Wife: kitne achche ho, kya kahoge?
Santa: Kahunga,
baba aap ki kripa aana shuru ho gayi


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